Once upon a time and 6 seconds later, you’ve become a pro at unclenching your fists, reducing the angry typing, and being conscience of your snap reactions. And now it is starting to feel like you’re only developing a better poker face. You’re thinking before you react, learning to respond once you’ve analyzed the situation…6 seconds, right? So, why does it feel like you’re not being your real self?
Developing EQ (promise we’ll stop using it as a buzz word in just a second!) doesn’t mean bottling up your emotions or stamping down your feelings. EQ is built on empathy, which is the ability to experience the emotions and thoughts of others to create a connection. Those 6 seconds before a response include time to think about the other person, your co-worker, Director, your spouse, parent, etc. Has that co-worker who busted your chops for arriving late also been stressed out with the budget reviews and proposals? That same Director who didn’t quite understand the numbers you put together and let you know how disappointed she was via email is also, unbeknownst to you, on the verge of a being placed on a Performance Improvement Plan if her team doesn’t get this quarter’s figures right.
As you’re working on controlling the clapback, you can understand your feelings and emotions and not let them rule your next move. YES, express yourself, you can do so in a way that doesn’t resort to finger pointing, disengagement, violence, (again…no one wants to be terminated on Taco Tuesday) and also takes into consideration what others around you may be facing.
Let Your Big Debut show you the importance of interpersonal skills today!